Floral daydreams #ootd 

I’m a bit obsessed with Modcloth. I’m a bit obsessed with dresses. Modcloth sells great dresses. See the connection? 😉

I have a problem, though. The problem being I don’t have enough money to buy all of the dresses I want from Modcloth.

Potential raises make dollar signs appear behind my eyes. More money for dresses, is my immediate thought.

This here is one of my favorite dresses from Modcloth.


I love the bold print, the colors, and the cut. I also found this amazing headband that pretty much perfectly matches it at Justice. Yes, the tween girl store, Justice. Justice and Claire’s have THE best hair things, and occasionally Target will have a few good things. I also just really love Peter Pan collars. I saw a tutorial on Pinterest earlier, actually, using vintage hankies to add a Peter Pan collar to a plain tank! Totes going to have to try that!

  

I just picked up the red flats at Five Below. I’m very pleased with them. I’ve been on the look out for some red flats for the longest time, and never found the right pair. For the cost, you can’t beat these. I should go back and buy like all of the pairs in my size.
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 #tbh I’ve been rocking the same flats since High School in a lot of instances, and it’s hard for me to find replacements that I like as much/are as cute.
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One of my favorite things about this dress, though, is something you can’t even see, and that is the lining. Surprisingly, to me, a lot of Modcloth’s dresses are unlined. For their prices, I really think they should be lined. It’s not just them, however, this is the case for a lot of places. eShakti is another place I buy dresses frequently, and the ones that need a liner have it. Torrid, another purveyor of clothing I love, seems to not line ANYTHING.
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The number of Sundress days is dwindling again! Soon it will be Autumn and time for layering. And boots!! XD
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xoxo
-R

10 Tips For Concert Goers

I smuggled that drink in

Jess and I decided to go see the Avett brothers Thursday night last minute, we met up with a group of friends, and it was a great concert… however, I don’t know if I’m just growing up and becoming a grumpy pants, but it really seems like no one knows concert etiquette anymore. So I’m laying down the law, throwing down the gauntlet, and telling you ten ways to be a great concert goer. Follow these tips and no one will hate you with a fiery passion at any show you go to.
1. This is the most basic of rules: Be respectful of other people. Be respectful of their space, their bodies, be respectful of the fact that everyone is supposed to be there to enjoy the show. Simple. Easy. Do it.

2. Don’t get so wasted that you literally can’t control yourself anymore. Have like three beers MAX. Getting shwasted is just sloppy for one thing, for another why pay so much money to go to a show and then get black out drunk and not remember it? (I will NEVER understand this) You can get drunk at your local watering hole for WAY way WAY cheaper. Go there, not to a concert. As an addendum to this rule- Try not to spill your freaking beer on other people. You paid A LOT of money for that beer, hold on to it. Your fellow concert goers do NOT want to be wet and smell of beer. Jeesh.

3. If you’re at a show that is conducive to mosh pits, remember No Fists, No Fights. You aren’t there to actually hurt anyone. You’re there to dance and have a good time. Let off some steam, get rowdy, but don’t try to hurt people. That’s lame and shitty. Also, if you see someone who has gotten caught up in the pit and seems lost, confused, upset, and or afraid, help them get out.

4. For the love of God, don’t crowd surf!!! Seriously, it’s a pain in the ass for everyone in the crowd and I cannot tell you how many times someone has been dropped on my head. I’ve also been kicked in the face. For baby Krishna’s sake, just don’t do it! I’ve seen girls get groped, girls in skirts get groped, people get dropped and hurt, and enough people dropped on the heads of others to stand firm on this rule. It’s distracting, for another thing, because instead of watching the band for paid $57 after processing fees to see, you’re watching for crowd surfers so you don’t get one dropped on you or kicked in the face.

5. A concert is not a place to have long conversations. It’s, you know, really loud, on purpose, so everyone at the venue can hear the music. If you want to have a long convo, how about you go somewhere else to have it. I, and I assume other fellow concert goers, want to hear the music we paid a lot of money to hear and not the sound of your loud, drunk, yell-talking. Especially during quieter, slower songs. Trust me, you can have a little conversation before the show, the gap times between acts, and even some commentary during and between songs, and you don’t have to be a loud mouth to do it. If you want to talk the entire time the main act is on the stage, why did you come to the concert? I don’t know. I don’t frequently pay money to not pay attention to the thing I paid money to see.

6. Put your effing phone down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise, after years and years of going to shows, you don’t need to take a million pictures. You don’t need to take a picture during every song. You definitely don’t need to record every song with your phone. The sound quality is going to suck anyways. Snap a few pics, and maybe record your favorite song, but again, be respectful of the people around you- it’s hard to see around arms up in the air with an iPhone 6plus between them recording every.single.song. Also- NO FLASH. Flash is lame. Turn it off and quit blinding people.

7. If you’re a tall person, just try to be at least a little bit courteous to the people at the show that don’t quite have your giant status. You’re going to be able to see no matter where you stand, so watch out the for little guys who can barely see at all, ever.

8. Don’t wear heels. Especially if you’re one of the ones I mentioned in rule 2, the wasted people. Actually, this is just a life tip to women in general, don’t wear heels if you can’t walk in them. At a show, you’re standing like 90% of the time, maybe a little less if you’re at a venue with seats, and that’s not fun for your feet. It’s also not practical, especially at a show with a pit. You don’t have enough stability. If you want some extra height, might I suggest platform boots or flatform sandals? Easier on the feetsies, stable, and fashionable. How can you go wrong?

9. If you’re at a venue with seats, and in that section, if the people around you are sitting, you should also be sitting. I am thankful for and love venues that enforce a must-sit-down policy on their balconies. Usually, you pay extra for a seat, so you know, you can sit. Respect that. If you want to stand, cool, get a floor ticket and stand away.

10. Alright, this last one had me torn, should I go with how about you smoke your weed before the show not during it or can we just all stop with the pushing? And I think I’m going with the second one. While I’m not very much into the skunky smelling plumes of smoke from your everyday pothead, I actually really effing hate it when, on the floor at a show, just when the headliner is coming on stage, there is the massive push towards the front. Here is a helpful hint- you aren’t going to get that much closer, and in the process, people get hurt, and we all end up uncomfortable. So, can we all just agree to stop doing this? That would be great.

I mean, I know I’m old and lame, because I definitely prefer getting seats at shows now and I haven’t been in a pit in ages, but if you keep these suggestions in mind, you will be appreciated by and win the approval of everyone else at the concert that isn’t a giant dupa yash like you, before you read this blog.

look at how cute we are

xoxo

-R

Childfree is the way to be- For me!

Haleah has been writing about parenting lately, and she’s a great mom, but I thought maybe I would chime in and talk about why I don’t have kids and don’t want to have kids.For as long as I can recall, I haven’t wanted to have kids. There was a time when I thought adoption might be something I would do, and I’ve had bouts of baby fever, but I always veer back to the no-kids camp. Now, I’m not anti-kid or anything like that, I like kids- I love spending time with my friends’ children, and my younger cousins. Kids are fun, they’re great, as long as, at the end of day, I can give them back to their parents.

I have three younger brothers, and helping with them while I was growing up showed me what a pain in the rear kids are. Some people in big families grow up and then want to have a big family of their own… I feel the opposite. I was 13 when my youngest brother was born, and I helped with him as much as I could, and as much as any thirteen year old would. I love my brothers dearly, and I miss when they were little shits, but you know, I’ve seen how absolutely insane having kids can be. How completely heart wrenching, nerve racking, and infuriating. I know, I know, there are great things and moments too… but what I think it boils down to is that I am just not interested in giving up so much of myself for anyone else.

Call me selfish, I don’t care, but I like my life with my husband the way it is. We can do what we what, go where we want, buy what we want, and we only have ourselves (and three cats) to worry about. And we aren’t really even very good at that. Throw in the stress- emotionally, physically, financially, of kids and I have no idea how we would go on AND remain happy.

I’m nearing thirty, and people are still like “Oh, you’ll change your mind someday…” “When are you and Jess going to have kids?” “One day, you’ll wake up and want to have a money hungry, wailing baby to care for…. Promise!” haha! It is so frustrating, and SO infantilising to be told, as an adult person, that I don’t know my own mind and my own heart. That’s not to say that there have been times when I thought I changed my mind, or that I won’t change my mind down the road, but I can promise you here and now that I don’t think I will ever truly, from the bottom of my heart, desire children. And you know what, that’s ok.

I’m childfree and happy about it. I’m childfree and still, amazingly, a whole real person. I don’t have to be a mom to manifest my true womanhood.  My purpose on this Earth isn’t to procreate. Children aren’t the endgame in all marriages. And, simply, some people just don’t wish to be parents. End of story.

     I saw an article this week that having a kid makes more of a mental/emotional impact than almost any other major life event, including, divorce, losing your job, or the death of a partner! Having a kid is worse for you than losing your husband or wife!!! No thanks.

I’ve volunteered with teens, I’m a troop leader for 4th grade girls, I’ve baby sat, changed diapers, fed babies bottles, tried and failed to calm a screaming baby, I am a big sister, and yet, I know I don’t know the feelings of being a parent- the close happiness that only mom’s feel when seeing a smile on their kids face, or tucking them in at night, or the pride parents feel when their child accomplishes something great. I know that, and I know that I’m missing out on experiences… but some experiences aren’t for me, and I love having the freedom to choose that.

I am so many things. I have so many interests, passions, dreams, goals, hopes, and wishes. I don’t feel a vast, gaping emptiness in my life that only children can fill. And yet, I still, obviously, feel the need to explain myself. I can’t say I blame people for making assumptions, because having children is the ‘norm’ and by not having them, I’m defying it. I don’t run into as much questioning about it anymore, I think the people close to me understand and I’ve been pretty consistent with my child free opinion that they know not to push the issue.

I’m sure one of my brothers will give my mom grandchildren, but Jess is an only child, so his mom probably won’t ever have human grandchildren if we don’t change our minds. Hopefully, our three fur children are enough!

It is such a personal issue, I caution anyone to be a little careful questioning someone about why they don’t have kids. In my case, I don’t want them, but in someone else’s case, they might be having fertility problems and are unable to conceive and that is such an emotional issue they don’t need reminders from people, from total strangers to close family members, that they haven’t gotten pregnant yet.

I think, as a human person, my manifest destiny is to be an amazing Aunt Rachael, to spoil Haleah’s daughter, my cousins’ kids, and my brothers’ eventual children (if they choose to have them!) and to be a volunteer that works towards enriching the lives of kids, be it through my past interfaith work with teenagers, or my present volunteer position with Girl Scouts.

And, just to note, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting, desperately, to be a mom! Or, wanting to be a stay at home mom, or a career mom, or whatever, if you want to have kids, have kids! I absolutely respect that, all I ask in return is the same sort of respect for my choice to not have kids!

xoxo
-R

#lifeadvice: When Life Hands You a Very Busy Schedule, Adopt Two Kittens  Aka Meet Rachael’s Cats

I have been sooooo busy lately. It’s not like me to be busy, I don’t like having a packed schedule and running around. I like to be at home with Netflix and snacks, alone or with my husband. Remember that socail anxiety I was telling you about? That’s where it comes in. I love seeing people I hold near and dear, but it gets exhasuting- mentally.

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  ^When We first got them ^

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^Last Week^

         To add to the packed weekends, trips, obligations, and events going on right now we decided to adpot two kittens a few weeks ago! We were going to get one, but then another fell in love with Jess and we had to take both. We named them Cecelia and Seraphina, or CeCe and PhiPhi for short. We already have one cat that we adpoted when we lived in Illinois, her name is Snicklefritz, Fritzy or more commonly, TiTi for short.

     Yes, we are crazy cat people.
      I haven’t had a baby kitten in years. Fritzy was 8months old when we adopted her, and she was just about as big as she is now. Compared to kittens she feels giant!
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      Kittens are SO messy! They get food everywhere, litter everywhere around the box, and we’ve had a few poo poo incidents! Somehow they also get tons of their kibble in the water half of the dish and it’s gross. Yowza. I feel like we do nothing but sweep and mop the floor of the bathroom where they are living for now. We are taking our sweet time introducing them to Fritzy, she’s a little grumpy about getting little sisters.
       At first, they weren’t sure of what to think of us. They kept trying to hiss, but it came out as this little adorale noise. CeCe is a loud mouth and does not stop meowing from the second she sees you. PhiPhi is more on the relaxed side, but eventually she pipes in with her ever-so-slightly-higher-pitched meows.
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     Last week they started to learn how to play. It’s so adorable to watch them chase their own tails!  They’be been wrestling, chasing each others’ tails, and batting around the toys I got them, too. We’ve been letingt them run free in the living room for hours every day. Earlier this week they both ended up snuggling with me under my blanket and watching tv. It was a-freaking-dorable. The other night, they started scaling the furniture, climbing all over, and then jumping down just to do it all over again.
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     Even for tiny little babies they have so much personality. You can’t help but love them. I just want to cancel all my plans and snuggle them! Instead, I go about my business, but fret about them while I’m away. Ah, the life of a cat mom.
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xoxo

-R

Lipstick Day/Rachael’s Purple Lipstick Roundup 

Apparently Wednesday was National Lipstick Day? No one told me, so this post is happening today!   
I have a bit of a problem. I’m a little bit of a hoarder. I like to have LOTS of things. Tons of clothes, shoes, nail polish, various make up items… this includes lipstick. I have way more than I can justify because I don’t really wear it all that much. I go through phases where I wear it a lot, and then like not at all for months. (My real problem is chapstick, but I don’t even want to talk about it……)

  
Lately, I’ve been into purple hues on my lips. It goes well with the witchy vibe of some of the outfits I’ve worn recently. Finding the perfect lipcolor can be tough though. By no means, is this an exhaustive group of purple lippies but it’s my little collection 🙂 

The first is butter lipstick by NYX in ‘Hulk’

  
On it’s very fuschia. I love the forumla because I don’t have to wear chapstick with it and it doesn’t dry out funny and cakey on my lips. It isn’t as long lasting as I would like, and it does stain your lips. Those are the only downsides of a really excellent lip color. I got this in an ipsy bag! I liked it so much, I went out and bought a back up!

  

  
The second is also from NYX (You’ll notice I like their brand. Great prices and a wide and wonderful color selection), it’s an intense butter gloss in ‘Berry Strudel’ It’s SO bold, but I love it. It’s a gloss, so it’s a little sticky, but the color pay off is great. You can really layer it on for a more intense color, or smudge it around for a lighter affect that’s really nice. Since this is a little bold for work, I haven’t really rocked it alone, but mixed with my Kat Von D lippie in Raspberry. 

  Kat Von D Lullabye alone, it’s more pink than purple. In the store, I tried it on my hand it gave off a blueish/purpleish sheen that I liked, I don’t see that when it’s on my lips as much and the sparkles are big flakes. The description is “sparkling iridescent magenta violet.” I like this mixed the most- either with the NYX gloss or another gloss on top to help smooth it out. I definitely HAVE to exfoliate my lips before wearing this and a primer pencil helps to lock it in place. 

   

 The next shade is probably my favorite of the group, it’s “Bittersweet” Revolution High Color lipgloss by Urban Decay. I got it in my ipsy bag as a sample and promptly went to buy it at Sephora. Like the NYX ‘Hulk’ this one can be layered on for a bigger color payoff, but I kind of like the color the most when I use it sparingly and it just tints my lips. The color definitely looks different depending on the light around you. I would 100% recommend this gloss. I love the packaging, too!        
This last one I need more practice with. It’s NYX Simply VAMP lip cream in ‘She Devil’ and I can’t seem to apply it evenly. I like it because as the name states, it’s very vampy. I think this would look really cool mixed with black lipstick, maybe black on the outer edges of the lips and this towards the center. I bought it on a whim and I’ve only worn it out when I used a teeny tiny bit mixed with chapstick. I would also like to try the Temptress and Bewitching shades of it. One thing I like about NYX besides their prices is that you can get a lot of their products at Target. Convenient!! 

   
 
I’m enjoying experimenting with the more bold colors and loving every second of the more subtle shades. That’s one of the things I love about make up, getting to experiment and play around, and maybe even test some boundaries. 
What’s your favorite lipstick? 
Xoxo

-R